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MetaCreative Magazine


Summer 2009


Disclaimer: Not for the Faint of the
Meta-Fizzly Heart

By Danielle Egnew



I find myself wanting to begin this article with a disclaimer. When I find myself in this predicament, I suddenly realize that perhaps I should try and approach another topic, one that does not require me to back-peddle before I have, well, peddled any distance forward at all. However – that’s simply not my style, so onward we press.

I work in what can only be termed as The Spiritual Industry. Yet curiously, and sadly, because I am at the behest of those who hire me, very little of what I do involves edifying the spirit. In my understanding, my job as a Clairvoyant Channel (or Medium, as I’ve been termed as of late), is to assist people with their highest path. However, I find that most people are not interested in their highest path, but the easiest path. And nary shall these two ever meet, until the compunction to substitute “easy” for “highest” is worked out within the client.

As long as a client goes on about their business, deluding themselves that it is in their highest interest to employ me, or Joe Psychic, or Madame LaZonka to “Psychicly Spy” on their ex, or try and guess the Lottery numbers, or figure out why that one person they met on a dating site isn’t calling, although they themselves have never called, written, or spoken to said person outside of a singular IM that read “lol, I like hotdogs 2” – the client will continue to reap what we in the industry like to call “their own Karma”, and we from Montana like to call “Buying their own horse-pucky.”

In other words, if you buy a pair of high heeled Versace shoes, and your justification on the $5000.00 price tag is that you’ve convinced yourself to wear them to the gym so you can feel good about your work-out and less guilty about the car payment you’re now making on the shoes, then don’t go crying into the locker room when you pop a heel at the first rotation of the Elliptical Hell Machine. And mostly – don’t go crying to The Universe about how unfair it all is. Because any self-respecting Angel over your shoulder would be forced, by Universal Law, to utter, “Well? What were you expecting from shoes made NOT to work out with?” Angels are notorious for ending nearly Yoda-like sentences with prepositions -- an unfortunate side effect of English as a second, or third, of fiftieth language, no doubt. But I digress.

Humanity is constantly puzzled by the fact that our most piddly effort brings forth the most piddly results. And we will literally pour thousands of dollars into the pockets of Spiritual Workers, wanting to be told otherwise. Considering I was teaching workshops and classes on the “Like-Attracts-Like” Universal Law when “The Secret” was still in diapers, this human need to deny the obvious, to buck the system, to execute the out-and-out denial of the same Spiritual Physics that dictate Piddly-Breeds-Piddly is, well – a rather sad human trait. 

In our infinitely stubborn human need to bash a square peg through a round spiritual hole, we really believe that we can change the Spiritual Physics of Like-Attracts-Like if we just call enough 1-900-Psi-Grrl lines until we get that ONE lady who is just there to make her son’s house payment, and will tell the client anything they want to hear as long as the meter keeps running, thus, fostering a wrong belief that “Destiny” is behind every inane decision the client ever wished to make. The truth could not be farther from Madame LaZonka’s nail-filing, ramen-eating $3.99 a minute reading.

You see, for those of us who work in this field because we have a deep calling to assist in connecting the client with their real-world ability to implement their most dynamic, powerful, inspired gifts, for no other purpose than to help that soul shine as brightly as possible so that they may not only illuminate their own path, but the path of others – this “fast-food-psychic advice” is not only disingenuous to the people paying for good guidance, but it’s dangerous, as it’s one of  the most predominant cornerstones in the building of what I like to call the MetaFizzler Culture – the Zealous-Outside-The-Spiritual-Box equivalent of The Religious Right.

MetaFizzlers are the bi-product of too many self-help books and too many 1-900-Psi-Grrl gift cards, who are often seeking another reason for their good ol’ dose of American emotional laziness being the cause of their lack of personal identity.  MetaFizzlers refuse to accept that any intrinsic spiritual law, especially Piddly-Breeds-Piddly, is a rule of thumb, because somewhere they read that if they click their heels together three times, they’ll end up in Oz where Jim Morrison will have Tantric Sex with them until some Arc Angel gives them Harry Potter’s Wand. MetaFizzlers are the denial-laden culture that have bastardized the world-changing dynamics of Like-Attracts-Like until the power of The Law of Attraction first was reduced to watered-down fodder for corporate motivational speakers, then a social club, and finally nothing more than a self-indulgent cult. Conversely, that same personality type has committed Spiritual Identity Theft many times before throughout the ages, most recently with the name and likeness of Jesus Christ -- for the very same purpose. Denial in the name of something larger than ourselves in an attempt to justify our lousy choices has been big religious business for literally thousands of years.
The truth is, Destiny does not support ignorance. However, if a client’s path is to learn enlightenment through living out the consequences of their own ignorance, then Destiny will smile upon ignorance as a tool. But that’s a different story than Destiny smiling upon a client who chooses ignorance to BE a Tool.   In fact, considering that we are responsible for weaving our own Destiny, then one could responsibly argue that our very design intrinsically prohibits us from choosing ignorance.

Yet -- we’re too busy calling Madame LaZonka to pay attention to the obvious, which is that we ARE our own Destiny, and our OUTWARD ACTIONS TODAY are the mortar for which our future kingdoms are built. Yes, our thoughts are important in calling to us the right combination of intentions, but the truth, the real spiritual truth, not the $3.99 a minute truth, is that in this three-dimensional free-will experiment, the Spiritual Physics of ACTION is, as they say -- where the money is.

You are the most dynamic ingredient for Miracles that was ever created – don’t squander the wonder. After all, would you burn a bundle of one million dollar bills just to see fire for the first time?



Danielle Egnew is a Clairvoyant Medium whose background in bringing paranormal and spiritual topics to the mainstream media encompasses work in film, television, radio, and print as producer, director, writer, creative consultant, and actor. In addition, she is an accomplished recording artist, with over 14 pop, rock, and instrumental albums to her credit. Danielle currently resides in Los Angeles where in between her production schedule, her private metaphysical practice assists Fortune 500 Executives, Hollywood studio heads, Law enforcement, as well as celebrity and private clientele.


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